Sunday, May 23, 2010

Who is Heather?

Hi, my name is Heather, and this is (duh) my blog. I have been inspired by a lot of wonderful women out there in the blogosphere who have created AMAZING blogs that focus on leading a balanced life. For a long time, I had no concept of how I could lead a balanced life in regard to food, exercise, work, and play. I am an all-or-nothing person, and despite (or because of?) this tough attitude, I have been overweight from about age 10 onward. I had a few breaks in there where I lost weight, but I never did it in a healthy way. Even when I deceived myself into thinking that my methods were healthy, they often resulted in self-loathing and restriction, and when that loathing and restricted got so bad I couldn't take it... I gave up.

This year, I have met a wonderful man, settled into my third year of teaching, and relaxed. I decided to stop trying to lose 20 pounds in two weeks and giving up 5 days into the attempt, but to aim to lose 20 pounds by the end of the school year. I started my journey on September 14, 2009, and reached my goal on May 8, 2010. I was helped to reach my goal by participating in a Cleanse that focused on eating whole foods and fresh foods, and I felt powerful and successful on this cleanse...

However, the cleanse ended on May 15, 2010, and while I didn't immediately go back to my "Old Ways" I definitely indulged a little bit and saw the scale shoot up--temporarily I'm assuming, but at that moment I felt horrible. I felt that all the progress I had made all year and during the cleanse was melting away. I felt like a big fat failure--and I hated it! I thought, "Why am I letting the scale control how I feel about myself?" and I decided to get rid of it and keep a blog about my experiences.

I still want to weigh myself. I don't know how to feel about my body's current state. I don't feel as confident as I was feeling during the cleanse. I have succeeded at eating fairly healthfully, but I still feel heavier...

However, I don't want to live my life at the mercy of some number.

My goal for the next year is to learn my hunger and full signals, to reach for whole grains and fresh foods, and to treat my body with respect.

Compared to a lot of other blogs out there, I know that mine isn't superimpressive---yet! I'll get there.

Thanks for following me on this journey.

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